


With seduction in mind

by hobbeshalftail3469



Category: Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith, Strike (TV 2017)
Genre: Cormoran doesn't understand eyebrow threading!, F/M, I love visualising Strike's face at the end!, NOT honey!, Not sure where to start!, Squirty Cream, Strawberries, chocolate spread, don't inhale the stuff!, established relationship for Robin and Corm, kinky food, open magazines, stinging pineapple!, subtle hints, waaaaay more realistic!, what a complete disaster!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:55:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22683589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hobbeshalftail3469/pseuds/hobbeshalftail3469
Summary: Shamelessly more realistic version of what happens when a couple try out kinky stuff involving food!The idea is that Robin and Strike are in a relationship and everything is great between them.....but Corm finds a folded over magazine article and gets ideas.This was also slightly inspired by LulaIsAKitten making marmalade!.........#inspirationcancomefromanywhere
Relationships: Robin Ellacott/Cormoran Strike
Comments: 19
Kudos: 25
Collections: Love Letters: A Cormoran Strike Valentine's Day Fest





	With seduction in mind

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [StrikeLoveLetters](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/StrikeLoveLetters) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> With Seduction in Mind
> 
> I almost involved a grapefruit (this links to one of my earliest fics published and started my ridiculous Google search history!!!!).....anyone who understands this comment.....kudos!!

Strike had been reading the article which was folded open in one of Robin’s magazines as he’d spent his usual amount of time that morning emptying his system in the bathroom they had shared as a couple for just over a year now.

Robin liked to read trash in the bath; Strike liked to read trash on the bog, therefore there was always a collection of tatty magazines and paperbacks in a small basket beside the bath.

He thought things were going pretty well between them.  
Things at the agency were working well; they seemed able to distance work and leisure….apart from the time when she’d ignored him and not included him in her tea making trips for the best part of a week over him forgetting their 6 month anniversary (who the fuck knew THAT was a thing?!)

The fact that she’d clearly been reading an article about ways to spice up your sex life was preying on his mind.  
He was thrilled with what they did between the sheets….and often on the sofa…..or in the shower….and that memorable time in the back of the BMW!......the thought that she might not be as satisfied rankled with him.  
Hence he was wandering around the Tesco Extra on a Saturday afternoon adding a seemingly random, but carefully thought out selection of items to his basket.

Robin had been out for a catch up with Ilsa, they were having their eyebrows threaded….the concept had baffled him even after Robin had tried to explain it with the help of a piece of cotton and his forearm.  
It had hurt!  
Quite a lot more than he’d wanted to admit!

And he assumed if she was making a day out of it with a friend there must be more to it…..either that or she’d be drinking wine in the daytime to numb the pain!  
Either way it gave him an opportunity to give their shared flat a tidy up and arrange a selection of candles (thankfully they had been provided with a seemingly endless supply of the fucking things as flat warming gifts!) tastefully leading from the dining table to their bedroom.

He showered and put on the navy trousers and pale pink shirt that Robin had said made him look “as sexy as fuck!” which in Robin’s dulcet Yorkshire lilt had sounded as sexy as fuck! He splashed on a little of his aftershave and set about arranging his shopping on a couple of posh plates that Robin used when Nick and Ilsa came over.

He checked his phone, Robin had sent a text that she was on the way to the tube about twenty minutes earlier, so with any luck she’d be along shortly, so he stubbed out the cigarette he was smoking half out the window as usual, and swirled around some mouthwash before flicking on a playlist which had been a bit of a success in the past in terms of getting Robin back on side (yeah….after that week of being ignored for forgetting the 6 month thing!)  
Her key in the door alerted him and he moved across to flick off the main lights, pleased with the attractive light from the fire hazard of candles he’d lit.

“Blimey!” her newly shaped eyebrows arched as he crossed towards her with an impishly boyish smirk on his crooked lips.

“Well……with seduction in mind I’ve made dinner…..and clothing will definitely be optional!” he growled, slipping his arms around her waist and enjoying how she moulded herself to him instantly, her hands rummaging through his hair as their tongues slid together languidly in each others’ mouths.  
When they finally broke apart Robin appraised her boyfriend’s clothing choice and glanced down at her own.

“Shall I bother getting changed then? I mean….you look edible all by yourself!” and she cheekily squeezed his backside.  
The dulcet tones of Paul Weller set the mood beautifully as his arms rested in the small of her back.

“My suggestion is you go in there, and put on that little blue silky thing that I enjoyed so much the last time you wore it….and I’ll find our starters!”

Robin tugged on his bottom lip with her teeth, “You weren’t the only one who enjoyed that little blue silky thing….give me 5 minutes!”

Ten minutes later Strike was explaining the finer details of his plan to a slightly giggling Robin who had applied a flick more eyeliner and had ruffled her hair into the ‘early Debbie Harry shaggy mess’ that he’d told her he liked on her (which suited her as it was basically ‘unstyled’ and easy!)  
He had asked her to sit on the sofa rather than at their small dining table, and her legs were hitched to one side with him perching on the large footstool which doubled as a table for the TV remotes, tissues and copies of the Metro.

“So what? This is like a food seduction thing?.....and I just what?.....sit here and……get fed?” Robin sniggered.  
Strike inhaled and twitched his neck, feeling that his girlfriend may not be taking his efforts as seriously as he’d intended.

“Just…..go with it……trust me, yeah?”

She nodded warmly.  
She completely trusted him…..and with him had discovered hidden depths to her own sexuality so if he wanted to go a bit 9 and a half weeks with what looked like strawberries and squirty cream fair play to him!

Cormoran reached into his pocket and pulled out a black, silk scarf which they’d previously used in various scenarios in their bedroom, and used it as a blindfold, enjoying that Robin’s long legs stretched out and wriggled rapturously.

“Right……let’s start with something palate cleansing,” and he picked up one of the long fingers of fresh pineapple trailing it across Robin’s lips, allowing her to take a bite before taking it along her neck and following the sweet trail with his tongue.  
He slipped his hand under the hemline of the flimsy navy blue satin slip she wore and growled at the fact that she was naked beneath it.  
He returned the pineapple to her mouth and allowed her a second bite before lifting the hemline and baring her sex to his hungry eyes. 

“I thought you were having your eyebrows done?” he hissed, biting his lip as he devoured the sight of her neatly waxed mound.  
Without waiting for her reply he took what remained of the pineapple in his fingers and toyed it ‘gloriously’ across her pale skin, moving his mouth to lap at the sticky, sweet juice.  
However, he was abruptly halted by Robin’s shriek.

“FUCKING SHIT! What the fuck is that?”

“Just the pineapple…I swear it….why?”

“Because it is acid on newly waxed skin….it’s fucking agony….get it off!”

He quickly discarded the piece of fruit and devotedly licked away at her skin until she was writhing and groaning in a more usual manner.  
Eventually he was satisfied that she was back onside, although the location of his most recent attention was still very much uppermost in his mind, so he reached across for the spray can of squirty cream and shook it vigorously before considering how and where to apply it.

“Ready? This might be cold,” he warned, and saw Robin squirm delightedly in anticipation.  
Her mouth formed a tight and sexy ‘0000’ as he squirted a crinkled ribbon of fluffy cream across her core. He then took one of the strawberries from the platter and swiped it along her seam, rubbing against her clit with the tip of the fruit before taking the cream covered red berry up to her mouth and watching as she bit through the juicy flesh.  
He couldn’t resist removing the partially eaten berry and delving his own tongue into her mouth, forgetting about the mound of cream in her groin as he pressed between her legs.

“Oh fuck!....it’ll wash!” he glanced down at the messy patch on his shirt. “Bear with me a minute…..just let me get undressed before we have any more disasters.”

Robin patiently wriggled her toes with her blindfold still on as she tried to work out what Cormoran was doing.  
Based on the muffled noises and grunts he’d dealt with his shirt and was now removing his shoe and trousers….which always caused more hassle when he left his leg attached.  
A few moments later however she felt his palm caressing her arm and shoulders, “Right….where was I?” and he renewed his attention to her mouth as he cupped her breast above the silky fabric of her negligee.

After a few knee trembling kisses he reached across again for some of the fruit selection. She giggled as she felt him creating a design in the remnants of the cream between her legs; humming slightly as he decorated her.

“Are you making a bloody trifle down there?” Robin asked, her Yorkshire accent becoming more pronounced as it always did when she was joking and relaxed.

“Shut up woman! This is rejuvenating our bedroom routine…..so lie there and enjoy it…..and it’s the closest I’ve got to my 5 A Day in months!” 

“Do I get to join in the fun?” Robin asked, licking out her tongue and trying to capture his mouth as he reached for a second strawberry and teased her mouth with it.  
Strike had initially imagined himself acting out the entire fantasy upon Robin, but the idea of her reciprocating on him was very erotic, so he deftly slipped the blindfold from her eyes and nodded.  
She stifled her reaction, he had several blobs of cream sticking to his beard, but as he was in the process of doing something most un-WI-like with a strawberry between her legs she managed not to giggle and instead reached down for what she assumed was a jar of honey from the selection of items on the posh platters.  
Pressing him back against the sofa she straddled his waist and stripped the blue negligee over her head.

“Where’s that cream?” she asked, and he grinned, waggling his eyebrows with the can held aloft in his right hand.  
She leaned back and he covered her breasts liberally with whipped cream before bending to lick it slowly from her…trying not to inhale it as he did so.  
She could feel his enthusiasm for her….it was poking her in her backside through his boxers!.....so she reached back and released him from the fabric with her hand before dipping her hand into the ‘honey’ and slathering it along the length of his rigid cock as his beard and chin became increasingly white with dregs of cream.

The sensation of stickiness she was experiencing in her hand was way more than she’d anticipated, but she persevered, stroking up and down the familiar feeling erection, working on the assumption that it might be better when it warmed up!

Strike was feeling a little bit queasy and was rueing the amount of cream he’d applied and was now required to lick off his girlfriend’s glorious tits, but maybe her hand on his cock would act as a distraction to power through and finish the job.

He wasn’t sure what she’d selected….he’d heard a jar being opened, which meant either Nutella or what he’d mistakenly thought was honey but had turned out to be a jar of Ilsa’s mother’s famous chunky shred marmalade….and judging by the odd friction and texture against him it was the latter.  
Robin’s face was slightly contorted as she reached back and tried to create a rhythm to her hand movements.

“Cormoran…..this honey feels really odd….either that or your dick’s gone lumpy on me!”

He leaned back, his beard and face looking like a cross between Santa and a pierrot, “It’s not honey….it’s marmalade….hence the peel....and lumps!”

Robin brought her hand around and grasped it against his bicep, creating a sticky handprint, but giggling at the ridiculousness of knowing that she’d slathered her boyfriend’s cock in a County Fayre Gold rosette winning jar of jam!  
Cormoran giggled with her and shuffled forwards on the sofa, grasping her firmly and guiding her legs around his waist.

“Grab that,” he indicated the jar of chocolate spread and strawberries which were left on one of the plates, and as she did he pushed himself up and carried her through to their bedroom, depositing his frankly ruined boxer shorts as he joined her on the bed.  
“Now…..where can I have fun with this?” he smirked wolfishly, delving a couple of his fingers into the jar of gooey Nutella spread and waggling them along with his eyebrows.

An hour and a half later Robin was frustratedly trying to poke bits of strawberry down the bath drain whilst Cormoran was busy flicking bits of chocolate spread and dried marmalade from his prosthetic limb with a butter knife.

Both were swearing and muttering.

The bedsheets looked like a ‘dirty protest’ in prison; the overall look enhanced by tufts of Strike’s body hair which had been ripped out when the marmalade had dried, acting like a low budget waxing treatment.

Several strawberries had been thoroughly mashed and had added red smears to the overall carnage of the bed.

“The next time I have a bloody stupid idea like this you have my permission to slap me!” he mumbled blowing the sweat from his brow and looking down at the pathetic sight of his naked, food streaked body, having given Robin first go at the shower.

The final straw to their attempts had been when he’d forgotten that his hand was covered in a combination of chocolate spread and marmalade and had dragged it through Robin’s hair, resulting in a tangle and a shriek of pain as he tugged her head backwards, and was only able to release the first hand by pressing down on her face with his other, equally messy hand.  
The resultant image of Robin looking like a badly made up Oompa-Loompa had killed any element of arousal he had left.

And as he glanced down at his now resolutely flaccid and unsatisfied cock he realised with a tutting moan that he’d probably be picking bits of orange peel out from under his foreskin in the shower later!

Robin appeared from the bathroom wrapped in a towel with a second turbaned around her hair.

“I’ll sort the sheets, you go and shower…..we can finish scraping your leg later,” she mundanely announced before she got to work stripping off the ruined bedding and bundling it up into a binbag…..it could be an interesting trip to the launderette!  
“By the way,” she shouted through as he hopped and swung himself through to the bathroom using a combination of the carefully positioned furniture and his own determination, “What brought this on? You said something about rejuvenating our sex life…..do you think we need to?”

From beneath the deluge of blissful hot water, which was enabling him to release several bits of stuck skin and chest hair, Cormoran poked his head out, grasping the safety rail they’d added as he answered.  
“I didn’t think we NEEDED to….I thought you thought we did….it was in your bloody magazine!”

Robin affected a puzzled expression and wandered through, enjoying as always, the sight of shower foam bubbles gliding down his delicious backside.

“Which magazine?” she asked, giving him a wide eyed stare as she saw him hunched over slightly, focussing on his groin and flicking small pieces of orange peel to the floor.

“Don’t look at me like that….you’re the one that slathered it in fucking marmalade!” but he giggled as she did, “That one…the one that’s folded over. I assumed it was a hint!”

She followed where he was indicating and picked up the magazine.  
She smiled and flipped the article around to the other side, which showed a full page advert for one of her favourite chocolate shops; their Valentine’s heart shaped box of truffles was shown along with a tag line of ‘It’s that time of year again....... a subtle hint to the one you love’

“Erm…..it WAS a hint Babes,” and she tapped the page with her finger. “If you missed that we need to have a serious discussion about your detective skills! Although just to clarify, I am completely and utterly satisfied with your other skills!”

From within the steam clouds she heard a variety of familiar swearing and slapped him on the backside before laughing and making her way through to see the disaster that was the living room.

Several minutes later he emerged, still soaking and dripping water as he held onto the top of the door frame,  
“Oi! What do you mean…..satisfied?!....that implies the word satisfactory…..and I thought I was doing WAY better than that….obviously before this whole food debacle!”

Robin sniggered and crossed to him, sliding her fingers through the dark, wet hairs on his chest.

“I’m way more than satisfied….waaaay more,” and they kissed for several minutes. “Anyway….I haven’t finished with you tonight…..I’ve got very specific plans for you in that bedroom.”

Strike waggled a single eyebrow, “Have you now? I think I can probably oblige!”

Robin smirked down at his growing arousal tenting beneath the towel around his hips, “Well, simmer down soldier….I just need you to hold one side of the duvet!”


End file.
